The Jackuul Blog

1. You hate liberty.

2. You hate secure borders.

3. You hate having money.

4. You hate being fiscally sound.

5. You hate the constitution.

6. You loathe freedom of speech

7. You demand welfare – because you stubbed your toe.

8. You hate health care that provides the best service possible.

9. You love the current education system.

10. You love the Department of Homeland Security.

11. You love paying income tax.

12. You love paying more income tax.

13. You love income tax so much you take it up the *** for income tax.

14. You think the giant tax laws are sexy.

15. You fog up your glasses thinking about crunching tax numbers.

16. You work for the IRS.

17. You work for the CIA.

18. You work in the White House.

19. You are John McCain.

20. You are Hillary Clinton.

21. You saw a UFO and tried to call home.

22. You like the idea of welfare economics.

23. You have a smile larger than Bob the Enzyte Guy

24. You use copies of the constitution for your TP.

25. You think the Fed is the Bee’s Knees.

26. You don’t like the name Ron.

27. You don’t like the name Paul.

28. You think people should not be able to sue polluters.

29. The U.N. gives you wood.

30. You want to invade Russia.

31. You want to invade China.

32. You want to annex Mexico and Canada.

33. You believe in fairies.

34. You are waiting for the Rapture.

35. You are the ‘Farting Preacher’.

36. You think the truth is ridiculous.

37. You think the truth is far-fetched.

38. You lost Florida.

39. You are the Governor of Arkansas and lost something too.

40. You are a member of Al Qaida’s top tier and realize that you cannot fight without a reason to.

41. You are a contractor for the Military.

42. You are a contractor for the contractor that makes sandwiches for the contractors for the military.

43. You made a scream heard around the world four years ago.

44. You were insanely boring four years ago (and still are).

45. You believe in No Gun Left Behind (aka taking away everyone’s gun).

46. Karl Marx is your god incarnate. Oh wait, you don’t believe in that… right?

47. You failed Economics and still were hired by the Fed.

48. Your job is in the U.N.

49. Your mistress is in the U.N.

50. You are in the U.N. building.

51. You own said building.

52. Your son makes you and your progeny look stupid.

53. Your answer to every problem is “THE POWER OF CHRIST!”

54. You pretend you are a crusader in tights.

55. You want more terrorist actions against the U.S. so that you can go to war. Again.

56. You own a Mexican styled restaurant on any border of the U.S. south.

57. You own a Canadian Styled restaurant up north.

58. You saw me repeat myself and are aghast that I am human.

59. You thought Goldwater was wrong.

60. You still think Goldwater was wrong.

61. You don’t like nude statues in the Capitol.

62. You personally attempt to censor said statues.

63. You hate America.