The Jackuul Blog

That’s all I have to say to anyone who thinks they can threaten someone on the internet with physical violence. That’s stupidity at its worst – and I will show you why! Anyone who is dumb and stupid enough to even do this should be eliminated from the gene pool immediately. Personally I don’t fear anyone who thinks they can come out to my home, break into my house, and then ‘beat me up’ for things I say on the internet. Or even if they intend to kill me. I have a simple reason for this – I could give a shit if I die. Basically you will have me in a desperate situation, I will know where all the items in my house to defend myself are, and I have no intention of fighting fair. Unless you wear a cup, I will at least castrate you before you can kill me.

• Number One: Threatening or attempting to intimidate someone off the internet is the first sign of a weak mind. I threaten people with verbal abuse all the time – but never intimate violence carried out on my own hand. I follow the law (until I take over the world and change the law to fit my need) and by so doing I insure that they will be the one sued for damages in court by me, or by my family in the case of my demise
• Number Two: If you threaten someone online with actual physical violence any webmaster can be pressed to give IP logs, and thus you can be tracked down by calling your ISP with a warrant – and then charged with a CRIME. Oh sure, you might not care – until Bubba has his way with your fine self in prison.
• Number Three: What kind of loser are you? You think you can intimidate a grown man on the internet? What are you? Twelve? Even a Neanderthal would have more sense than you – you excuse for a hominid. That’s basically losing the entire point of online discussion and rationality you simian fool! Do you not comprehend how stupid this makes you!?
• Number Four: You will get a blog post scathingly written about you with no ability to reply or offer a rebuttal of “LEIK IM GUNNA BEET U UP!!!!” Sorry, I left kindergarten before you were probably born – hell I was out af grade school then judging by your lack of intellect. In other words, you’re screwed.
• Number Five: You think you can instill fear over the internt – pathetic. Go back to stealing lunch money from second graders – and then when they find you hopping the fence to the elementary school from your mental retard high school you escaped from you can be charge for beating up little kids, child abuse, child endangerment, not to mention punitive damages sought by the parents. Enjoy never being able to get a job because of a conviction you retard.
• Number Six: So, you found my house, so you found me. Now what? You’re going to enter a house you know NOTHING about after BREAKING DOWN A DOOR and having 911 CALLED ON YOUR GENETIC SLUDGE EXCUSE OF A SIMIAN BUTTOCKS? And you expect me to fight fair? I have knives, I have things I can use as a spear, I have a family to defend that will fuel me beyond hate and reason, and I have an unfulfilled blood lust for anyone who DARE threaten children living in the house along with two other adults who live here. Good luck not dying.
• Number Seven: Calling me out. Bull crap. I’ll call the cops because you’re on my lawn or harassing me you stalking criminal idiot excuse of a monkey. By the time you realize what has happened Bubba’s older brother will have given you a protein shot. Moron.
• Number Eight: Following me around to college/etc. Good luck assaulting me on the street – your DNA will still be on my body and or rotting corpse no matter what you do to hide it – I’ll fucking BITE you. Then when they track you down you will get to pay my retirement or my massively over priced funeral – and so will your parents and relatives. Idiot.
• Number Nine: Oh good, you shot me. When they track the bullet to the gun, track the gun to who sold it to you, give him a plea deal, track you down, and kill you or apprehend in a standoff you will be the one in hell if you believe in god – not me. I’ll have been given a free ride to heaven.
• Number Ten: Let me make this one clear. YOU. ARE. AN. IDIOT.

Now that I have explained why threatening people on the internet doesnt work you can go away now. Shoo, go on, go back to playing with your Mega Blocks or whatever you do to pass your time. I don’t mean the small ones either – those take more brainpower and skill than you have in your entire body.

Thanks for including a new kind of person to breed out of the human race with Kind Eugenics. Basically as world emperor I wouldn’t kill you – but I would sterilize you and send you to work in a no-risk to the Empire job. License Plate Maker – or Coal Shoveler (if we still use coal). More likely Pig Fecal Remover from the Methane Farms.